i saw something

have polaroid land camera 250, will explore more.
—-
for a moment i thought i was in a different dimension. the rooftop looked exactly the same as my rooftop, but there were people on it. they were smiling and relaxing, drinking beers and laughing.
the sun was lowering in the sky and everything around me wavered with an electric vibrancy. it was beautiful. everything was a still moment in real time, and i could see behind the green curtain of the fabric of reality.
there was absolutely no way that this rooftop was my rooftop, because for sure i was visiting a friend of mine’s apartment, and 100% i was at her building.
but for that short lovely passage of time, early evening with the sunset glowing warm and everything so till and so harmonic…it was a form of a waking dream that extended into my bones.
sometimes you realize that the world still has some magic to share, some awe to instill, and some beauty to bestow. and it is in these discoveries where we are refreshed and made anew.
—-

—-

for a moment i thought i was in a different dimension. the rooftop looked exactly the same as my rooftop, but there were people on it. they were smiling and relaxing, drinking beers and laughing.

the sun was lowering in the sky and everything around me wavered with an electric vibrancy. it was beautiful. everything was a still moment in real time, and i could see behind the green curtain of the fabric of reality.

there was absolutely no way that this rooftop was my rooftop, because for sure i was visiting a friend of mine’s apartment, and 100% i was at her building.

but for that short lovely passage of time, early evening with the sunset glowing warm and everything so till and so harmonic…it was a form of a waking dream that extended into my bones.

sometimes you realize that the world still has some magic to share, some awe to instill, and some beauty to bestow. and it is in these discoveries where we are refreshed and made anew.

—-

—-
where will you be when everyone else is looking at the same thing? is it that important to peer over with the group and crane your necks?
wonderful things are happening, and you’re in the very center of these occurrences. sometimes closing your eyes for a moment, letting all of your muscles relax and rest, and allowing the sounds and energies to wash over and through you, if enough to refresh, enliven, and invigorate both body and mind.
give it a glance, and keep a set distance. there are still amazing perspectives and kodak photo points left of your own choosing.
—-

—-

where will you be when everyone else is looking at the same thing? is it that important to peer over with the group and crane your necks?

wonderful things are happening, and you’re in the very center of these occurrences. sometimes closing your eyes for a moment, letting all of your muscles relax and rest, and allowing the sounds and energies to wash over and through you, if enough to refresh, enliven, and invigorate both body and mind.

give it a glance, and keep a set distance. there are still amazing perspectives and kodak photo points left of your own choosing.

—-

—-
what will be here in these places in 1000 years? will we be remembered and revered, or shunned, or forgotten.
the lost names in memories not passed down through tales and reference. there is no microfiche for the forgotten. what will be our legacies? what forms of expression or art of music or stories or anything tangible?
the technological reality most of us live with each day seems more and more overwhelming or integrated with each passing day. how could we progress in any other manner other than algorithms and stored data?
we cannot even agree on a permanent digital storage medium. everything is open for disintegration, vulnerable against heat or water damage, and exists in a limbo of an unknown outcome.
at times it seems utterly hopeless, but i know that my time here will be long over before we figure it out. may as well enjoy it all while i’m present. everything will change except the curiosity, and i do not expect my own to diminish anytime soon.
—-

—-

what will be here in these places in 1000 years? will we be remembered and revered, or shunned, or forgotten.

the lost names in memories not passed down through tales and reference. there is no microfiche for the forgotten. what will be our legacies? what forms of expression or art of music or stories or anything tangible?

the technological reality most of us live with each day seems more and more overwhelming or integrated with each passing day. how could we progress in any other manner other than algorithms and stored data?

we cannot even agree on a permanent digital storage medium. everything is open for disintegration, vulnerable against heat or water damage, and exists in a limbo of an unknown outcome.

at times it seems utterly hopeless, but i know that my time here will be long over before we figure it out. may as well enjoy it all while i’m present. everything will change except the curiosity, and i do not expect my own to diminish anytime soon.

—-

—-
nothing like finding strange buildings that you believed previously lost. i saw this façade one night while walking a friend home. it was raining, and it still stood out amongst the entire block of residential buildings.
with bold letters shimmering and flickering in its rainy night reflections, everything about it held my attention. the brick, the arcs of the windows and doorway, the earth holding position over the “Y” in the sign, portholes above regular windows.
it’s a very curious one, and one that i had to find again in the daytime. very happy to have seen it again, like a beautiful stranger that i only had a brief glimpse of previously. it was a pleasure.
—-

—-

nothing like finding strange buildings that you believed previously lost. i saw this façade one night while walking a friend home. it was raining, and it still stood out amongst the entire block of residential buildings.

with bold letters shimmering and flickering in its rainy night reflections, everything about it held my attention. the brick, the arcs of the windows and doorway, the earth holding position over the “Y” in the sign, portholes above regular windows.

it’s a very curious one, and one that i had to find again in the daytime. very happy to have seen it again, like a beautiful stranger that i only had a brief glimpse of previously. it was a pleasure.

—-

—-
132 years after the opening of the weir greenhouse florist, i happened upon it on a sunny early morning.
a long-standing relic historically recognized, but well and past its prime. what stories are there about this victorian beauty?
a moment of pause to think about the lifespan and resiliency of this building, and then a reflection of my own life. how many people have seen me in my glories and failures and have stopped to help. how many have walked past after glancing?
the gates were drawn, the paint worn and chipping, and the structure while standing defiant of all elements and plans of former owners, in a hollowed shamble.
—-

—-

132 years after the opening of the weir greenhouse florist, i happened upon it on a sunny early morning.

a long-standing relic historically recognized, but well and past its prime. what stories are there about this victorian beauty?

a moment of pause to think about the lifespan and resiliency of this building, and then a reflection of my own life. how many people have seen me in my glories and failures and have stopped to help. how many have walked past after glancing?

the gates were drawn, the paint worn and chipping, and the structure while standing defiant of all elements and plans of former owners, in a hollowed shamble.

—-

—-
just go for it, why not? there’s prolly no better time than right now,or in the least perhaps five minutes from now.
i used to do this thing when i was much younger to amp myself up. i used to count down from some ridiculously high number to build up suspense to an action or a decision to put something into action.
the something was along the lines of jumping off the diving board, asking if i could play with some other kids, ask some grown-ups normal ole questions. all the situations that in retrospect were very normal/not-weird, but i still held a pause in my self.
and to some extent i still feel a hesitation in some situations. i try to figure situations out, figure repairs out, figure out the right goddamn sequence of buttons to press to get to a human on a helpline. and i still count down, but the number has lowered.
these are the moments that are becoming more and more integral to us to make a decision. do it now! or at least five minutes from now.
no pressure, and the benefits are potentially infinite.
—-

—-

just go for it, why not? there’s prolly no better time than right now,or in the least perhaps five minutes from now.

i used to do this thing when i was much younger to amp myself up. i used to count down from some ridiculously high number to build up suspense to an action or a decision to put something into action.

the something was along the lines of jumping off the diving board, asking if i could play with some other kids, ask some grown-ups normal ole questions. all the situations that in retrospect were very normal/not-weird, but i still held a pause in my self.

and to some extent i still feel a hesitation in some situations. i try to figure situations out, figure repairs out, figure out the right goddamn sequence of buttons to press to get to a human on a helpline. and i still count down, but the number has lowered.

these are the moments that are becoming more and more integral to us to make a decision. do it now! or at least five minutes from now.

no pressure, and the benefits are potentially infinite.

—-

—-
back to basics. taking into account all the lessons learned, all the time passing and how it accelerates.
not enough never enough to just feel the passing inspiration to photograph. the passion and fervor for its full expression must be tempered only by the clarity of thought to do it.
it’s all there right in front of you. whether it comes out or not, whether it’s a successful image or a failure, it is valid. it had a substance and a place in the world, and it is absolutely special.
textures, stitching, angles and lines meeting, the arcs, the rough and the lilt. it’s all there, again with the smallest most delectable details. just look!
you are never wasting your time seeking the sublime in the sunlight as well as in those supple shadows.
this is one attainable form of unyielding bliss.
—-

—-

back to basics. taking into account all the lessons learned, all the time passing and how it accelerates.

not enough never enough to just feel the passing inspiration to photograph. the passion and fervor for its full expression must be tempered only by the clarity of thought to do it.

it’s all there right in front of you. whether it comes out or not, whether it’s a successful image or a failure, it is valid. it had a substance and a place in the world, and it is absolutely special.

textures, stitching, angles and lines meeting, the arcs, the rough and the lilt. it’s all there, again with the smallest most delectable details. just look!

you are never wasting your time seeking the sublime in the sunlight as well as in those supple shadows.

this is one attainable form of unyielding bliss.

—-

—-
old friends so bright and luminous, they blow a shimmer of light into my camera.
forever immortalized on a one-of-a-kind, now discontinued film medium, their presence among the active silver nitrate and substrate makes me endlessly happy.
looking forward to the warming up trend happening in between the intermittent rain showers. bright clear lovely days ahead.
—-

—-

old friends so bright and luminous, they blow a shimmer of light into my camera.

forever immortalized on a one-of-a-kind, now discontinued film medium, their presence among the active silver nitrate and substrate makes me endlessly happy.

looking forward to the warming up trend happening in between the intermittent rain showers. bright clear lovely days ahead.

—-

—-
big ups to lacasaazulbookstore in east harlem. proprietor aurora anaya-cerda had a dream to open a bookstore to promote children’s literature, educational programing and literature by latino writers.
opened in the fall of 2011, this gem continues to flourish and shine as a local cultural institution. if you’re in east harlem, please go by and peep out her choice business.
supporting a dream of another will allow you to make an actual difference in the world. small gestures make ripples. congratulations again!
—-

—-

big ups to lacasaazulbookstore in east harlem. proprietor aurora anaya-cerda had a dream to open a bookstore to promote children’s literature, educational programing and literature by latino writers.

opened in the fall of 2011, this gem continues to flourish and shine as a local cultural institution. if you’re in east harlem, please go by and peep out her choice business.

supporting a dream of another will allow you to make an actual difference in the world. small gestures make ripples. congratulations again!

—-

—-
people are just weird. it’s that easy and that complex. we have issues, quirks, lows, eccentricities, facial tics, loves in our hearts.
it’s increasingly less easy to be yourself in the face of social media everything. we gram our breakfasts, twitter our inane thoughts, tumblr our feelings, and FB our relationships in whatever flavor those are at any given time.
it’s a mess, it’s a jumble, and how can we not slip and stumble?
just know that there are all these other weirdos out in the world doing similarly strange things, photographing crazy stuff at oblong angles, and at times stating too much to the wrong people.
why even try to wrap your head around it, when we get lost in the fray and therein lies the beauty of discovery. it’s in what you make of it where it’ll all come together.
—-

—-

people are just weird. it’s that easy and that complex. we have issues, quirks, lows, eccentricities, facial tics, loves in our hearts.

it’s increasingly less easy to be yourself in the face of social media everything. we gram our breakfasts, twitter our inane thoughts, tumblr our feelings, and FB our relationships in whatever flavor those are at any given time.

it’s a mess, it’s a jumble, and how can we not slip and stumble?

just know that there are all these other weirdos out in the world doing similarly strange things, photographing crazy stuff at oblong angles, and at times stating too much to the wrong people.

why even try to wrap your head around it, when we get lost in the fray and therein lies the beauty of discovery. it’s in what you make of it where it’ll all come together.

—-

—-
no matter how many times i have the opportunity to photograph the same person, it is always an honor and a treat. the sense of collaboration, of trust, and a marker for the friendship.
how have we changed? sometimes i get that thing where i don’t recognize someone 100% because access to them has shifted from in-person/same city limits, to email distance, skype distance, longer-than-a-road-trip-of-a-normal-length distance.
but it does not make them a stranger. rather, i get the great pleasure of rediscovering them. i get to see up close the things which make them happy, which make them smile, which makes me remember who they are, and the joy that they bring.
these are the gems which gleam, and knowing they’re out in the world makes it an infinitely more habitable place to exist.
—-

—-

no matter how many times i have the opportunity to photograph the same person, it is always an honor and a treat. the sense of collaboration, of trust, and a marker for the friendship.

how have we changed? sometimes i get that thing where i don’t recognize someone 100% because access to them has shifted from in-person/same city limits, to email distance, skype distance, longer-than-a-road-trip-of-a-normal-length distance.

but it does not make them a stranger. rather, i get the great pleasure of rediscovering them. i get to see up close the things which make them happy, which make them smile, which makes me remember who they are, and the joy that they bring.

these are the gems which gleam, and knowing they’re out in the world makes it an infinitely more habitable place to exist.

—-

—-
time is fleeting. there is little of it left, and so many things to do. how will you spend it? being idle and uninterested? uninterested people are uninteresting, and add absolutely nothing to the whole everything.
have an opinion, be someone of note, make your presence known and felt and seen and heard.
this image represents the beginning of the end of this film stock i’ve cobbled/hoarded together. in total 1800 shots. color to black & white. back to high contrast gray areas. back to tones and shadows. back to curves and reflections which remain bold and subtle at the same time.
this lovely stretch is your time, and from this day on, you must persevere; attempt to make yourself happy and find a meaning in your life. it is very much worth it, and it will mark your life for the better of all whom you interact with.
there is less and less time in each passing moment. and many things to accomplish before the end. many places to go, things to see, foods to eat, loves to love, shoes to walk around in endlessly until there are no paths left.
—-

—-

time is fleeting. there is little of it left, and so many things to do. how will you spend it? being idle and uninterested? uninterested people are uninteresting, and add absolutely nothing to the whole everything.

have an opinion, be someone of note, make your presence known and felt and seen and heard.

this image represents the beginning of the end of this film stock i’ve cobbled/hoarded together. in total 1800 shots. color to black & white. back to high contrast gray areas. back to tones and shadows. back to curves and reflections which remain bold and subtle at the same time.

this lovely stretch is your time, and from this day on, you must persevere; attempt to make yourself happy and find a meaning in your life. it is very much worth it, and it will mark your life for the better of all whom you interact with.

there is less and less time in each passing moment. and many things to accomplish before the end. many places to go, things to see, foods to eat, loves to love, shoes to walk around in endlessly until there are no paths left.

—-

—-
each day in sweet contemplation on all facets, all ideas flourishing, all ideas brewing, all the loves, all the deaths, all the future travels from here to there to here to there. a meditation, a consultation with the Self, a conversation.
we spend so much of our time in states of doubt and confusion, of course it will affect us, but perhaps with more practice and active awareness, we begin to transcend the default of those reactions.
when you can notice your fear and anger rising, you can begin to measure your response. as in most things both mental & physical, the thought is known, forms, and makes itself present.
the thoughts and feelings may alter, but the body still reels and swells with emotion. the body remains most honest and echoes long after. and we may also alter and temper our reactions with active practice.
whether in fury or in affection, the sensations wash throughout from the top of the head to the bottoms of the soles of the feet, and each sensation sublime.
—-

—-

each day in sweet contemplation on all facets, all ideas flourishing, all ideas brewing, all the loves, all the deaths, all the future travels from here to there to here to there. a meditation, a consultation with the Self, a conversation.

we spend so much of our time in states of doubt and confusion, of course it will affect us, but perhaps with more practice and active awareness, we begin to transcend the default of those reactions.

when you can notice your fear and anger rising, you can begin to measure your response. as in most things both mental & physical, the thought is known, forms, and makes itself present.

the thoughts and feelings may alter, but the body still reels and swells with emotion. the body remains most honest and echoes long after. and we may also alter and temper our reactions with active practice.

whether in fury or in affection, the sensations wash throughout from the top of the head to the bottoms of the soles of the feet, and each sensation sublime.

—-

—-
tonight’s homework:
make a formative and to the best of your abilities, a comprehensive list of all of the things, objects, people, and situations you love.
some on mine for example would be my parents, brother, family, friends, exes, collaborators, homemade pizzas, ramen, fried eggs, pancakes, wandering, curiosity-fueled explorations, kissing, hand-holding, sitting quietly, cinema/theatre/movie-watching, the opera, ice creams, driving short distances, road trips, traveling through a culture not my own, smelling new smells, tasting new tastes, swimming in the ocean, meeting strangers and becoming friends, gadgets, camera equipment, photo shoots, portraiture, thailand street food, paintings, museum spaces and the people who inhabit them albeit for brief and fleeting moments.
and much much more…
perhaps make this list and keep adding to it. your interests, your loves, your desires, your missions in life, your dreams.
having this list all the time, and at the ready is a great reminder to see later on, on those days where you find yourself unsure of yourself, unsure of your dreams & desires, and unsure of your path.
these listed items will not only serve as a base from which you may venture forth anew with a sense of renewed confidence, but as markers of what to look for to guide you in the future.
they may shift and change; altering the list may be painful at times, and at times very satisfying. but in the long run, you’ll end up feeling that at least at one time, you had an opinion about something. you felt very sure at one time that these were those things, objects, people, and situations you love.
you had a truth, you lived by them, and they gave you strength.
—-

—-

tonight’s homework:

make a formative and to the best of your abilities, a comprehensive list of all of the things, objects, people, and situations you love.

some on mine for example would be my parents, brother, family, friends, exes, collaborators, homemade pizzas, ramen, fried eggs, pancakes, wandering, curiosity-fueled explorations, kissing, hand-holding, sitting quietly, cinema/theatre/movie-watching, the opera, ice creams, driving short distances, road trips, traveling through a culture not my own, smelling new smells, tasting new tastes, swimming in the ocean, meeting strangers and becoming friends, gadgets, camera equipment, photo shoots, portraiture, thailand street food, paintings, museum spaces and the people who inhabit them albeit for brief and fleeting moments.

and much much more…

perhaps make this list and keep adding to it. your interests, your loves, your desires, your missions in life, your dreams.

having this list all the time, and at the ready is a great reminder to see later on, on those days where you find yourself unsure of yourself, unsure of your dreams & desires, and unsure of your path.

these listed items will not only serve as a base from which you may venture forth anew with a sense of renewed confidence, but as markers of what to look for to guide you in the future.

they may shift and change; altering the list may be painful at times, and at times very satisfying. but in the long run, you’ll end up feeling that at least at one time, you had an opinion about something. you felt very sure at one time that these were those things, objects, people, and situations you love.

you had a truth, you lived by them, and they gave you strength.

—-

—-
you have to want it so bad, more than anything else, and will it into existence. from the heart up through the brain-stem to the senses to the skin to the meat & musculature to the bones.
if it’s anything i’ve learned from the entirety of my life thus far, it’s that there is not the sort of magic that you believed in as a child. the whole of growing up and through to early adolescence leads up to the eventual realization that there are no easy answers.
everything is amazingly complex and multifaceted, filled with nuances and intimate delicacy. how i’ve been so confident in my youth, and at present feel very strong that i alone am the one that must put the effort into it all, or nothing will come of all those desires and dreams.
you are owed nothing, and there are no absolutes. it’s all the gray area in between, thick like a fog of your own device. how it lifts and clears in entirely up to you.
and if you have a belief in me and mines, i will have a belief in you and yours.
—-

—-

you have to want it so bad, more than anything else, and will it into existence. from the heart up through the brain-stem to the senses to the skin to the meat & musculature to the bones.

if it’s anything i’ve learned from the entirety of my life thus far, it’s that there is not the sort of magic that you believed in as a child. the whole of growing up and through to early adolescence leads up to the eventual realization that there are no easy answers.

everything is amazingly complex and multifaceted, filled with nuances and intimate delicacy. how i’ve been so confident in my youth, and at present feel very strong that i alone am the one that must put the effort into it all, or nothing will come of all those desires and dreams.

you are owed nothing, and there are no absolutes. it’s all the gray area in between, thick like a fog of your own device. how it lifts and clears in entirely up to you.

and if you have a belief in me and mines, i will have a belief in you and yours.

—-